![]() ![]() And I said unto him: Lord, give unto me power over death, that I may live and bring souls unto thee. “And the Lord said unto me: John, my beloved, what desirest thou? For if you shall ask what you will, it shall be granted unto you. When the drop came, he pressed it up into his hard palate, squeezing its sweet burn out onto the inner sides of his mouth. He lifted the shot glass to his lips and waited for a lingering drop of whisky to slide into his mouth. No meal, no lover, no political or social victory.įellow broke himself free of the vision for a moment. Nothing about the future seemed inviting. He looked up at the stars and wished to sleep and never wake. When Jesus’s bloodlike drops began falling, John turned his head away. John alone knew that no angel, certainly not Michael the Archangel, came that night to strengthen his dear master. He heard Jesus’s entire prayer to his dad. Unlike the other two disciples, John never fell asleep. Crowned with shadow, John the Beloved’s weary face looked up into the starry night sky. Only the stone remained perfectly in-focus. The cluttered bar’s countertop, the baby blue light refracting through a row of tumblers, even the brass rail softened into blurred and muddy brushstrokes on a canvas. Now Fellow understood the face belonged to John the Beloved. This face, firm and without apology, could be the face of one who had seen an angel, the face of one who feared no Roman guards-the first and great special witness. The stone became a woman’s narrow face: deep-set eyes, long slender nose, chin like the slimmer end of an egg. The vision burst upon Fellow almost immediately-even as the lingering oak-barrel burn dissipated in his throat. Not as I desire, but as you desire.” “The Gospel of Mark” 14:35-36 And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you take this cup from me. “And he went a little way and fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible that the hour would pass by him. Just some ice-water please.” It was good Fellow was no alcoholic. Lastly, he produced the dark-gray pyramidal pebble from the fraying pocket of his jeans and placed it next to the shot glass.Īs Fellow took a deep centering breath, the bartender asked him if he wanted another shot. After falsely claiming to the college girl busing tables that he was a descendant of James Joyce, Fellow drank a shot of whisky in three ritual sips. The vision came after wolfing down one of the pub’s third-pound Blue Cheese Bacon Burgers and a fat order of steak fries served with garlic aioli. The bartender alone knew the stone’s actual purpose, but never pestered him about it. ![]() I promised to babysit it while she’s off at camp.” Fellow had no children. If anyone asked Fellow about the stone, he would say, “It’s my kid’s pet rock. He would gaze at it, even as strangers glanced over. He would place it next to his empty shot glass, recently filled with black-label whisky. Sometimes Fellow took the stone out of his pocket at the local pub. Stay here and be watchful.’” “The Gospel of Mark” 14:32-34, The New Testament: A New Translation for Latter-day Saints, by Thomas A. And he said to them, ‘My soul is sorrowful to the point of death. “And he came to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ And he took Peter, Jacob, and John with him, and he began to be amazed and troubled. ![]()
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